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Michael D. Viccione
Nov. 25th, 2005 @ 12:18 am Holy Shit
Holy shit. The work I have done in the past year to better my health and appearance has gone to shit with an all day binge fest I like to call Thanksgiving.

I was a fucking maniac and I probably gained 10 Lb.

I was an amazing eat machine.

The gods of Former fat please forgive me.

I am astonished I did not purge my soul out after that gross display of PIG.
Nov. 23rd, 2005 @ 10:20 am brought to you by Lara F from Classical
Current Music: Ain't no sunshine
List seven songs you are into right now. No matter what the genre,
whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be
songs you're really enjoying now. Post these instructions in your
Livejournal along with your seven songs.

1 Tom Waits- Tango till they're sore
2 Joe Cocker- Feelin' alright
3 Ella Fitzgerald- how high the moon
4 Theme song from Sanford and son
5 Billy Joel- Modern woman
6 David Bowie- Fame
7 Matt Diglio- As Bad as you
the band
Nov. 22nd, 2005 @ 04:25 pm justa
Current Music: Joe Cocker
For the love of God could some one please stop the rain. I heard it through the turkey vine that it is going to snow on Thanksgiving. F N SNOW!

I'd like to take this time to list 10 things I am thankful for.
Please feel free to add your things in my comments.

1 My kids
2 My wife
3 My gift
4 My other family (even the ones who look like me but not as cute or smart.)
5 My new "not as fat" body
6 Orgasms
7 Simultaneous orgasms (Rare)
8 My new job
9 Close friends
10 My saved life

Future of Vish
Current Music: Tom Waits= Dope Shit
"August '99

I've been on hiatus for quite some time, wedged into that proverbial vat of jello I am always talking about.
A lot has happened since we last spoke. I lost two girlfriends and Matt has gained one. She is a big haired Indian, named after the bad guy from the "Last Dragon." She is also a hippie.
I also have a new job. I babysit idiots at a discount outlet from the south called Target. They try to brainwash me into believing I am a good person and that retail customers deserve respect. They do not realize that retail customers are the ones who got Hoffa. A priest achieve metamorphosis when they step into a retail bargain basement. If God created retail customers then I renounce Him. They Suck.
And as for the prepubescent troglodytes I supervise; they make me want to pray to that renounced God and plead forgiveness for the couples that have made the conscious decision to spawn these brain dead lumps of shit.
I have never been an advocate of mass murder but I have never really been against it either.

This is not my life!!!!"

November '05

I now sell Mattresses, so how much has my life really changed?... Fuck.
Nov. 15th, 2005 @ 07:24 am Old journal entry from Wendy's
Current Music: the glorious sound of Buffy
The Shadow of The Eggplant

"Today Paul caused a ruckus. Wendy's once again. We were there in line waiting to be served when Paul pushed a customer out of the way and hopped the line forming barrier. He then pushed a worker out of the way and leaped over the counter. He jumped behind the counter and began to dance, in a very Steve Martinesque way, behind the cashier(Baritsta) screaming 'I am king of the eggplant people' repeatedly. he then ran out the door and out of sight completely leaving me alone to deal with the dumb struck crowd. I immediately looked at the patrons and workers and said in my most serious voice. 'He's got terrets, I'm his keeper. I'll probably get fired for this.' and I ran out looking for him.
I searched for a half an hour. I finally found him three parking lots away at the Rhode Island Mall. He was standing on a pile of rocks with his arms outstretched as if he were preaching to no one in particular. Then as if coming out of a trance, he shook his head, climbed off the rocks and got in my car. We drove home in silence."

This story is 100% true.
the band
Nov. 14th, 2005 @ 07:50 am old journal entry in Starbucks
Current Music: the orchestration of Tom and Jerry
"Lady, I don't like you. The way you walked into this place with your saggy breasts dragging slowly behind you, trying to shave the stubble of your years with your razor sharp blue coat. It looks more like dyed burlap than the fine name brand for which you probably paid astonishing amounts.
You brushed passed everyone to the front of the line and ignored the clerks 'hello.' You asked for 'two perfect Macchiatos and fast.' When the clerk did not work with the diligence you thought you deserved, you threw a little fit. You bustled around, making sure everyone around you knew that this clerk would not be receiving a tip.
But to leave without saying thank you, you c@nt, was enough to make me want to kick your brown, nasty teeth right out of your nasty ball washing mouth."

These are the kind of people that really make me want to deliver a heaping spoon full of justice.

F@cking awful right?
Nov. 12th, 2005 @ 08:48 am East of Eden
Current Music: B101 on my 1950's radio as I cook Breakfast
A close friend is currently driving east to stay here on a perminant basis.
He is a good guy and quite a talent.
Together with my incredible talent, we are putting a band together. It will we called Tommy Keller after our favorite cripples.
We are a cross between great jazz and blues of old and modern day polka. I will be posting shows and open mics when they happen. Support would be nice.

And if I could ever get Pete to practice Piano, maybe he could play with us.

PS Just kidding about the polka.
the band
Nov. 11th, 2005 @ 11:07 am spending the day
Current Music: Elvis singing My Way
I am currently spending the day with the kids. Watching live action Scooby Doo.
god help me.

here's another passage from my book.
read the damned book pt 4Collapse )
Future of Vish
Nov. 10th, 2005 @ 06:50 am help a hip
Since August I have been in terrible pain. I wake up and for about 20 minutes I walk pain free. Then the horror strikes in. I put my foot down on the floor and I feel as though my knee is going to pop off and my hip is going to poke through my ass. When I sit still, I feel the same way. When I go to bed I feel pain. My wife tells me I scream from pain in my sleep. To give her rest and to escape from walking up the stairs, I have taken to sleeping on the couch.
Yesterday I went to the doctor and he told me I had severe arthritis in my hip and knee.
He also said that in two to five years I would have to have a hip and knee replacement. Like my body is not artificial enough already. He also told me that every ten years I would have to have the old replacements replaced and that could only be done twice. So basically by fifty-five(still pretty young) my walking life is over.
Then he did something that was nothing short of a miracle. He shoved a needle right into the joint of my hip and shot it with cortizone. I will tell you, I am now going on my second day pain free. The doctor says that the shots could last weeks, months of even years.
I have to tell ya, I am not too happy about being in my early thirties and having fake joints like a sixty year old (It almost made me cry ) but if every so often I could get these shots, I could prolong my horrid fate at least a few years.
Say a prayer if you pray, meditate if you believe in something else, or just think of me if you believe in nothing. But lets hope that these shots I get last as long as the doctor says it might.
Nov. 9th, 2005 @ 07:04 am let it all out
As I am sitting here pooping on the toilet, I realize that it is my only real part of the day that I am truly free. My thought is clear and pure. Some of the best ideas of my life have been born on the pot.
At first I would bring a notebook to my evacuation sessions but now with the advancements in technology, I have an electronic work station at my disposal that I can merely set on my lap and record all my thoughts.

Boy times they are a changin'
Nov. 8th, 2005 @ 06:02 am Serious question
Who out in Journal land would like to see a movie idea I just came up with at 5AM this morning? It came to me as I was watching the Providence Mayor on the early morning news.
It is a comedy/drama about a US president who is trying to hide the fact that he is a homosexual. Now I know that you all may think I am F-ing around but I think it could be a good Idea. Funny yet meaningful.

I am toying with the notion of calling it "I Pledge Allegiance to The Fag"

What do you think?
Nov. 7th, 2005 @ 07:49 am i am a god
read the damned book pt 3Collapse )
Nov. 4th, 2005 @ 04:13 pm Let is chat
I am now, as we speak, diving head on into the mysteries of Captain Cave Man. I must say that I am intrigued to say the least.
Not only is he a mullet with feet, but this mid-seventies extravaganza of super hero is the first true testament to racial diversity on television. A 3 foot man covered in hair, screaming Unga Bunga at everyone is socially accepted in many circles. That, if nothing else, makes me proud to live in this world of ours.
To break free of the the racial tensions that are visible all around us, we must only gaze upon this shining star of an icon and realize that the translation of Unga Bunga in any language is... UNGA BUNGA. Coincidence? You tell me.

I must leave you now so that I can look for instances of sexual misconduct in Popeye.
Nov. 4th, 2005 @ 07:51 am Silent Scream
Nov. 3rd, 2005 @ 08:01 pm controversy over TV shows
My wife thinks I dominate the TV. I am now compiling a list on her shows and my shows to see whose list is longer.

My wife prefers to remain anonymous so I shall refer to her as Feather Miccione.

-Feather's Shows

1 Law and Order
2 Law and Order SVU
3 Law and Order CI
4 The Apprentice
5 The Martha Apprentice
6 The Biggest Loser
7 ER
8 Will and Grace
9 Medium
10 Rome

-Mike's Shows

1 Rome
2 The Office
3 The Biggest Loser
4 Supernatural
5 The Sopranos
6 My Name is Earl
7 Medium
8 Law and Order CI

Clearly she dominates the Television on a weekly basis
Nov. 3rd, 2005 @ 12:52 pm I just can't help myself
read the damned book pt 2Collapse )
Nov. 3rd, 2005 @ 11:26 am More book by vish
Here is a teasing excerpt from my great american novel.
read the damned bookCollapse )
Nov. 3rd, 2005 @ 10:54 am my ground breaking television idea
I have this idea see. It was sparked in my demented little brain during the first season of the show Survivor.

I think it would be nice to see a German/Jew Survivor.

10 prominent members of both cultures would be isolated on a small island of neutral territory. (possibly in the South Pacific)

They will be equipped with only hunting knives and steel pipes.

The first faction to kill off the other will be victorious.

I believe this show would gain world wide popularity. Humans in general love a battle.

I also believe that the jews, after centuries of persecution, would emerge victorious.

I am sure they hold quite the grudge.

Please comment and vote on the success of this show also vote on which group you believe would come out on top.

Thank you,

-The German/Jew Puppet Master
Nov. 2nd, 2005 @ 08:19 pm my first real entry
Being a stay at home dad is not all that it is cracked up to be. I yearn for a conversation that consists of something other than the latest Power Ranger news or explaining that hitting a mouse with a frying pan will not make a permanent indentation of the mouse in the frying pan.
Considering my alternatives are talking to a gay man in haiku about panera bread, I guess I am not doing so bad.

I have recently terrified my kids with a story of a man named Jeremiah Blacktail who lives in their closet and eats fingers and toes. I was embracing the spirit of Halloween and it has back fired. I am fully aware that long after Halloween has passed, They will still not play in their room alone. I am destined to spend months putting them to bed in the living room.

I am going to leave you now so that I may gorge myself on cookies and Halloween candy so that tomorrow I can be angry with myself for leading myself back down the road to fat. This is a road I was getting farther and farther away from until I found out That once fat, always fat. But this is a story for another time.

This is soon to be fat signing off.
Nov. 2nd, 2005 @ 07:54 pm the first of more
This is a small passage from my book "The Curse of The Whisker Biscuit".

press thisCollapse )